MightyWrighty has had many an accident in the snow including obliterating a fence into millions of little pieces, taking out some innocent by-standers, being the cause of a pile up on the ski slope but this one incident will go down in history....
I arose on a white crisp christmas morning full of christmas cheer and excited about the day ahead, we decided to go sledging while we left our juicy turkey in the oven cooking to perfection. As time went on me and my sensible siblings became slightly bored by your average sledging, so, using our UFO sledge we played our legendary game of "Chicken Shit' taking dares to higher levels.
My crazy elder sister took off from the top taking in three large drops and getting a little air landing gracefully at the bottom. Well, seeing as I forget I am not invincible I took it to the next level and ran at the jumps, which gained me alot more air...Oh Yes baby, I was totally going to win this 'Chicken Shit'! And let me tell you, I flew! I flew like every human wished they could, I tell you any eagle would have been jealous!
Well, you know with my unfortunate personality mix of being accident prone and not really knowing what fear is, you can guess it didn't end well. 2 sec after being so confident and full of christmas cheer I was skidding face first eating the snow and having my face shaved thinner by the ice as I heard a massive crack as well as a slightly painful pain shooting up my back and an inability to breath.
Lets FFWD the next 50min as I lye waiting for the ambulance whilst claiming I definately won and that this would definately be hilarious tomorrow through gritted teeth.
So..by now a crowd has gathered and people are being dramatic, I even stop breathing at one point amongst the sweat and the sick, the ambulance crew and mountain rescue guy arrive and are attempting to get me down hill and I hear them say,"Mighteywrightey, I'm afraid we are going to have to cut you out of your trousers..." (As if I wasn't embarrassed enough already and in my head I'm swearing that this is definately the last time I play 'Chicken Shit, and I know I say it every time but this time is the last!) Lets rewind a couple of hours...
I wake bright and breezy on christmas morning eager to see what santa had left me in my stocking, there were the usual trusty treats; chocolate coins, tangerine, bubble bath etc but on this particular christmas I received a pair of bright blue pants with a pink outline and the rear was decorated in many a jolly snowman. Now, those of you that know me, know I am anal about matching underwear since working in La Senza at the age of 16 for a year. On this particular morning, I giggle to myself as I put them on rebelling against the rules I have made for myself and the need to wear matching underwear when nobody would be seeing them anyway.....FFWD back to death hill....
MightyWrighty is protesting as much as she can, "But No, please don't cut me out my trousers," Paramedic, "it's ok it's nothing we haven't seen before,"(Bare in mind they are young and not bad looking, DOH!), MightyWrighty, between gasps of air manages to declare,"But you (gasp) don't understand(gasp), my underwear (gasp) does (gasp) not match and (gasp) I have (gasp) Christmas snowman pants on! Nooooooooo!!! And you can imagine the gathered crowds response to a girl in her mid-twenties lying with a broken back and the only thing she is complaining about is her ridiculous snowman pants and not matching...Every girls nightmare!
And there's a lesson for you people, brought to you by miss MighteyWrightey.
Ps. The story ended happy ever after as MightyWrighty is walking, falling and tripping around like her old self a year down the line!
You tell it so well ... from the almighty wrighty!
ReplyDelete