'No, I do not inject heroin!'

MightyWrighty loves a dance...I hear your mocking laughs, I am surprisingly unclumsy whilst communicating through the medium of dance, me and my housemates 'Bruce Lee' and 'Jimmy Choo' often communicate through dance Micheal McIntyre style....

Let me set the scene... Beyonce is playing in class and this week it's 'single ladies', one of Mighty's favourites as I often perform my own interpretation of the dance at any opportunity, at any celebration, at any given time! I get a wee bit excited and enthusiastic, there is a simple turn followed by a simple clap.  Of course in my excitement I clap too hard and bruising appears rather fast on my finger...

FFWD 1 hour... Finger is blue...
FFWD 10 hours... Finger is grey...
Friends and colleagues begin to nag about going to get it checked out... hello people I only clapped, it's a little bruising, get over it, I mean c'mon I've definately had worse injuries I'm sure I'll heal!
FFWD 1 hour... Finger is black... Luckily MightyWrighty works in an environment involving nurses and doctors. I was informed by one of the Docs if I did not go to A&E I may loose my finger as all the blood has been cut off......"But, All I did was CLAP!"

Off to A&E I go, preparing myself for a long night ahead...me and the receptionist laugh together about my freaky black finger, me and the drunk in the waiting area laugh about my freaky black finger, me and the nurse laugh about my freaky black finger, me and the nurses friend who comes to have a nosy laugh at the freaky black finger and each time I protest that all I did was a turn and a clap!

To my astonishment in less than two minutes I'm called... They ask the usual questions and I proclaim all I did a turn and a clap. He looks at me with pity in his eyes..."Do you inject any drugs Miss Mighty?", "Whaaaattt, Paaaaaaaaaaaaa!", then I came to the realisation that he was not one of those clown doctors and he was infact being deadly serious. I look nervously to the man sitting near by and answer "no of course I don't."
        He disappears only to be replaced by a lady doctor who ushers me into my own room. She gives me another one of those pity smiles and asks me if I inject any drugs???!!! By this point I revert back to childhood and do the uncontrollable nervous laughing, which does not help me fight my corner as I look like I'm either reeeaaally high or hallucinating and seeing dancing monkeys. She questions me further about many other drugs...whilst I continue to laugh nervously I proclaim, all I did was a turn and a clap!
She leaves...She returns with two more pity-faced (not clown) doctors. They are rushing around and cover me in wires telling me that it's a possibility there is something wrong with my heart...but all I did was a turn and a clap....why is no-one listening to me???? All I did was a turn and a clap!!!

Surprise surprise my heart is fine and dandy...they look at me puzzled (they should have listened to Mighty), I can hear nurses speculating in the next door cubicle about the girl with the freaky finger (it's a curtain people, not a wall!).
Turns out it was only bad circulation and the freaky colour was brought on by the reduction in movement from THE TURN AND THE CLAP!!!
Of course no-one thought I was on drugs when I ran out of the building screaming, I BLOODY TOLD YOU SOOO! A TURN AND A CLAP!!!!

I Blame 'Chicken Shit'...

MightyWrighty has had many an accident in the snow including obliterating a fence into millions of little pieces, taking out some innocent by-standers, being the cause of a pile up on the ski slope but this one incident will go down in history....

I arose on a white crisp christmas morning full of christmas cheer and excited about the day ahead, we decided to go sledging while we left our juicy turkey in the oven cooking to perfection. As time went on me and my sensible siblings became slightly bored by your average sledging, so, using our UFO sledge we played our legendary game of "Chicken Shit' taking dares to higher levels.

My crazy elder sister took off from the top taking in three large drops and getting a little air landing gracefully at the bottom.  Well, seeing as I forget I am not invincible I took it to the next level and ran at the jumps, which gained me alot more air...Oh Yes baby, I was totally going to win this 'Chicken Shit'! And let me tell you, I flew! I flew like every human wished they could, I tell you any eagle would have been jealous!

Well, you know with my unfortunate personality mix of being accident prone and not really knowing what fear is, you can guess it didn't end well. 2 sec after being so confident and full of christmas cheer I was skidding face first eating the snow and having my face shaved thinner by the ice as I heard a massive crack as well as a slightly painful pain shooting up my back and an inability to breath. 

Lets FFWD the next 50min as I lye waiting for the ambulance whilst claiming I definately won and that this would definately be hilarious tomorrow through gritted teeth.

So..by now a crowd has gathered and people are being dramatic, I even stop breathing at one point amongst the sweat and the sick, the ambulance crew and mountain rescue guy arrive and are attempting to get me down hill and I hear them say,"Mighteywrightey, I'm afraid we are going to have to cut you out of your trousers..." (As if I wasn't embarrassed enough already and in my head I'm swearing that this is definately the last time I play 'Chicken Shit, and I know I say it every time but this time is the last!) Lets rewind a couple of hours...

I wake bright and breezy on christmas morning eager to see what santa had left me in my stocking, there were the usual trusty treats; chocolate coins, tangerine, bubble bath etc but on this particular christmas I received a pair of bright blue pants with a pink outline and the rear was decorated in many a jolly snowman. Now, those of you that know me, know I am anal about matching underwear since working in La Senza at the age of 16 for a year. On this particular morning, I giggle to myself as I put them on rebelling against the rules I have made for myself and the need to wear matching underwear when nobody would be seeing them anyway.....FFWD back to death hill....

MightyWrighty is protesting as much as she can, "But No, please don't cut me out my trousers," Paramedic, "it's ok it's nothing we haven't seen before,"(Bare in mind they are young and not bad looking, DOH!), MightyWrighty, between gasps of air manages to declare,"But you (gasp) don't understand(gasp), my underwear (gasp) does (gasp) not match and (gasp) I have (gasp) Christmas snowman pants on! Nooooooooo!!! And you can imagine the gathered crowds response to a girl in her mid-twenties lying with a broken back and the only thing she is complaining about is her ridiculous snowman pants and not matching...Every girls nightmare! 

And there's a lesson for you people, brought to you by miss MighteyWrightey.

Ps. The story ended happy ever after as MightyWrighty is walking, falling and tripping around like her old self a year down the line!